many times have you heard yourself tell someone, “In my opinion, you should do
it this way…” or “You should change the focus…” or my favorite, “You should
make one more sales call…” Now think back to when you either said a similar
phrase or heard it. What was the reaction? Was it empowering and uplifting? Did
it set you free and make you feel charged up and motivated?
our career, we’ve heard, “You should set goals and follow up on them for the
year” without telling us how you set a goal. They would just “SHOULD”on us. Rather than “shoulding” on
people, let’s ask them questions like: “What do you think could be the result
of making one more sales call?” or “What would it be like if we moved our focus
to ___?” and “Let’s talk about what you would like to accomplish in 2011 and
how we can work together to achieve those goals.”
are advocating a “come along side” approach that offers the opportunity for the
other person to be engaged in what we need to accomplish. Regardless if it is
an employee or a customer, we are inviting their participation and engaging
them rather than “shoulding” on them.